Successful marriage rates are on the decline with 50% of first marriages ending up in divorce. Divorce rates vary depending on the partner’s religious beliefs and level of education, among other factors, but when divorce happens, it leads to a lot of difficulties in both children and adults.

To adults divorce is one of the most stressful events in life and it often leads to uncertainty about the future. Where children are involved, they may experience negative effects such as guilt, blame, anger, feeling of abandonment and acting out. While at time divorce may be necessary, some couples may wish to salvage their union by seeking marriage counseling which is helpful in a variety of situations. The following are seven reasons to seek marriage counseling in order to save your marriage.

1. Poor communication

Once communication deteriorates it often leads to recurring arguments and conflicts. Withdrawal and negative communication is equally detrimental. When communication is negative, partners can feel insecure, depressed and disregarded. Withdrawing or avoiding conversation has the same effect as unspoken complaints as many issues remain unaddressed.

Marriage counseling helps to build communication in a relationship and teaches partners how to properly communicate with one another.

2. Infidelity

Infidelity puts a real damper on the trust and innocence of any marriage which makes it difficult to recover. However, if both partners are willing to recommit and reconcile, then the marriage can be salvaged through marriage counseling.

A marriage counselor helps the partners to rebuild trust with one another and move forward.

3. Missing the spark

When couples begin to behave more like roommates rather than a married couple, it indicates a need for marriage counseling. This decline in the marriage is often caused by lack of intimacy, conversation and communication and it is accompanied by detachment and emotional alienation making it feel like a couple is just co-existing. If not addressed, these feelings may lead to divorce.

Counseling can help a couple restore the emotional connection they felt initially as well as understand the things that led to the emotional estrangement.

4. Lack of intimacy

The day to day stress, kids, bills, work, family, chores can stress the marriage. The stress can flow to the bedroom leading to lack of passion and intimacy.

Marriage counseling can help to determine the issues in the relationship or life in general that are putting a strain on your sexual life and get intimacy back to normal.

5. When a couple is considering separation

When a couple often argues or disagrees, a break can be helpful. However, recurring arguments can lead to temporary separation which indicates a need for counseling. A temporary separation does not resolve any situation, it just avoids the problem and often leads to more absences and may eventually lead to divorce.

A marriage counselor focuses on the cause of the problem and comes up with the best technique to prevent the problems from reoccurring.

6. Finances

Disagreements over finances are a major cause of conflict in families. When couples disagree on how to handle the finances, conflict escalates quickly.

By contacting a marriage counselor, couples can talk about their concerns and frustrations and the counselor will help sort out the arguments and help the couple to focus on the real issues.

7. When a couple is only staying together for the sake of the children

Most couples find themselves staying together for the sake of the children only. Often, they believe that they are doing the right thing but it is actually detrimental to the children. Kids are very intelligent and intuitive and no matter how a couple tries to fake happiness, most children can read between the lines.

In such a case, a marriage counselor is needed to help resolve the issues and help the couple move towards a positive and healthy relationship.

All marriages require work. Marriage counseling helps one to develop a better understanding of their partner and their needs. Seeking counseling is a perfect way to remind each other why you fell in love and know how to remain in love.

If you need to seek help from a professional and compassionate marriage counselor, please contact Patricia Hecht, MFT, to make an appointment now either through her website or by calling 415-813-0404.